My baby sister has learned a lot from me over the years. Her wit and cleverness has all been acquired by my skillful hand. You could call me a great mentor, a sarcasm coach, or a professor of facetiousness. Wait...I might be building this up too much. On facebook today my sister and I had the following "conversation" I thought it was funny and since this is my blog and I determine its content you (my faithful, yet few readers) have the privilege of wondering if my sister and I ate paint chips as a child. The answer to that riddle is no…we ate cheesies.
(Note: Names have not been changed to protect the innocent because she is so not innocent.)
Tenette to Harmony: Harmony, here are some reasons I have decided that in any form of combat with you, I would win: 1) My insane arm muscles, 2) Mere flesh wounds have become "boo-boos" since the birth of your first child, 3) I'm sneaky and clever, two key factors you possess but do not know how to use when needed, 4) I have a bowstaff and…mad skills with it, 5) I have a victory dance and when you have a good one the Gods align things so they can watch. And not to brag but mine is awesome.
Harmony to Tenette: Tenette, you are completely wrong for the following reasons: 1) Your arm muscles don't have a chance against the wushu finger hold, of which I have perfected; 2) My hair is more red than yours and it is a proven fact that red heads have a higher tolerance for pain; 3) You may be sneaky and clever but I have stealth and…you are…well…clumsy; 4) I have ESP and thus will be able to foresee your next move before even you can; 5) Your victory dance can't hold a candle to my theme song. You'll have to win before you can express your awesomeness, but I can define my awesomeness throughout the battle. I rest my case.
Tenette to Harmony: 1) I have a Chinese finger trap and I am not afraid to lock that Wushu finger up, 2) You are a higher level of ginger, therefore genetically weaker (its a medical fact), 3) Clumsy…or artistically off balanced? Yeah blows the mind a little to change the perspective, 4) ESP doesn't work on me. I eat carrots. Have you…ever read a rabbits mind? Yeah, it works. and 5) I come pre-packaged with action fighting sound effects and an ultimate punch that is lethal in 8 countries. Harmony I'm a new breed of ama-za-zing. I don't need to define my "awesome" level, its just a fact.
Harmony to Tenette: 1) I know the secret of the Chinese Finger trap so boo to you. 2) Seeing as my AUBURN hair only comes in highlights I would argue that said highlights are a supporting factor to my awesomeness…highlighting it, if you will. 3) Let's count the number of fights "artistic" people have won…0. 4) I have a rabbit and have been working on reading his mind for the past 3 minutes. I can honestly say I can read rabbits minds so your carrot eating does not deter my ESP prowess. AND 5) Your sound effects can't even bare comparison to my onomatopoeias. So I'm sorry. You may as well give up. My "awesome" level is lightyears beyond yours. Check out the article in the quarterly astronomical journal of science.
Tenette to Harmony: # 5 is moot point. You can't read. You can't fool me!
Harmony to Tenette: You can't moot my point without evidentiary support. sorry.
Tenette to Harmony: Stupid American legislative laws.
